The training almost never lets me down.
It's there when I'm angry.
When I'm frustrated.
When I'm happy.
It's even there when I'm heartbroken.
The improvements are not all physical.
I know I've been scratching the surface of using strength-training in other aspects of life, in an earlier post, and I kinda want to try getting deeper into that specific thought. I'm not saying I'm gonna go there now, but lets sit back and see where my mind wanders off to while writing.
It's a lifestyle. Everything I do and have done for the last couple years, has either been evolved around or been associated in some way, with my training.
The stuff I eat, my sleeping patterns, the way I react to certain events, and even the way I look at other people and how they live their life.
I'm not gonna say that every person should strive to look their best, but actually.. I guess that's what I think. At least at the time of writing this.
And I don't want it to be that way. I don't want to shake my head in disgust every time I see someone doing something unhealthy. Eating a bag of cheetos once in a while should be allowed, right?
In some odd way, I've somehow been manipulated into thinking that looking good, goes hand in hand with a successful life. But if that's the truth, then 90% percent of the human population should be leading a crappy life, feeling inadequate and unworthy of happiness.
And rational thinking has lead me to believe that's not the case.
Maybe I should just accept the fact that, wanting to look my very best, is just who I am.
I just need to find someone who believes that, what I think is "my best", is actually quite awesome.
I've been working my ass off in the local gym for quite a while now, and been through changes that can only be seen in those fake adds with before / after pictures.
Yes, they're fake, in case you didn't know. And there's no "secret to 6-pack abs". What a shocker :P
But seriously.. if getting to look like a fitness-model only took 4 weeks and a short motivational speech, then everyone would go through the four weeks of madness, and be done with it.
But that's not the case, and the problem when working with yourself, is this; you're never going to be satisfied. Not ever. And if you feel satisfied, you're lying to yourself. Whether it's physical or mental change, there's always something that can be improved.
The day I'm satisfied with myself is the d.. I can't finish that sentence.
And if I could, I would go do it this instant, so I could sit back and start enjoying life.
God I'm rambling.
What I'm trying to say, or rather, what I'm trying not to say, is that..I don't know what I would want to look like.
When I started out with all the protein-craziness and the wild training schedule, I wanted to look like a monster. Like this:
I wanted to be so big, that it would never go unnoticed.
Carrying around my trophy, all the time. Because the trophy would be me.
I soon came to realize that getting to be this big, would need me to make some drastic choices in life, concerning my health. To get this big, I need to inject myself with testosterone, human growth hormone, anabolic steroids and the like.
For now I've decided that's a no-go for me. I still want to be big though. Maybe even as big as I can possibly be, without the drugs. There's a certain pride in being natural. Even more so if I can get to compete while staying that way.
My idol right now is Rob Riches. I would kill someone to look like him!
Rob:
So.. yep. That's it for today I guess. Been thinking about all this stuff a lot lately.
Mainly because the last girl I happened to fall in love with, disapproved of muscles, and that made me think.. maybe I was on the wrong track with all this training and the striving to be perfect.
I've come to realize.. I'm always gonna be like that. I just love the training too much to let it go for anyone. And it's always going to be there to save the day, no matter what happens.
I feel weird when linking pictures that haven't been taken by me, so this time I'll show you two pics, just to even the balance. First one is the usual random object, and the last one is of me.
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