Training my ass off!

I've been bodybuilding for about 2.5 years now, and my progess has been great.
The training almost never lets me down.
It's there when I'm angry.
When I'm frustrated.
When I'm happy.
It's even there when I'm heartbroken.

The improvements are not all physical.
I know I've been scratching the surface of using strength-training in other aspects of life, in an earlier post, and I kinda want to try getting deeper into that specific thought. I'm not saying I'm gonna go there now, but lets sit back and see where my mind wanders off to while writing.

It's a lifestyle. Everything I do and have done for the last couple years, has either been evolved around or been associated in some way, with my training.
The stuff I eat, my sleeping patterns, the way I react to certain events, and even the way I look at other people and how they live their life.
I'm not gonna say that every person should strive to look their best, but actually.. I guess that's what I think. At least at the time of writing this.
And I don't want it to be that way. I don't want to shake my head in disgust every time I see someone doing something unhealthy. Eating a bag of cheetos once in a while should be allowed, right?

In some odd way, I've somehow been manipulated into thinking that looking good, goes hand in hand with a successful life. But if that's the truth, then 90% percent of the human population should be leading a crappy life, feeling inadequate and unworthy of happiness.
And rational thinking has lead me to believe that's not the case.

Maybe I should just accept the fact that, wanting to look my very best, is just who I am.
I just need to find someone who believes that, what I think is "my best", is actually quite awesome.

I've been working my ass off in the local gym for quite a while now, and been through changes that can only be seen in those fake adds with before / after pictures.
Yes, they're fake, in case you didn't know. And there's no "secret to 6-pack abs". What a shocker :P
But seriously.. if getting to look like a fitness-model only took 4 weeks and a short motivational speech, then everyone would go through the four weeks of madness, and be done with it.

But that's not the case, and the problem when working with yourself, is this; you're never going to be satisfied. Not ever. And if you feel satisfied, you're lying to yourself. Whether it's physical or mental change, there's always something that can be improved.

The day I'm satisfied with myself is the d.. I can't finish that sentence.
And if I could, I would go do it this instant, so I could sit back and start enjoying life.
God I'm rambling.

What I'm trying to say, or rather, what I'm trying not to say, is that..
I don't know what I would want to look like.
When I started out with all the protein-craziness and the wild training schedule, I wanted to look like a monster. Like this:

I wanted to be so big, that it would never go unnoticed.
Carrying around my trophy, all the time. Because the trophy would be me.

I soon came to realize that getting to be this big, would need me to make some drastic choices in life, concerning my health. To get this big, I need to inject myself with testosterone, human growth hormone, anabolic steroids and the like.
For now I've decided that's a no-go for me. I still want to be big though. Maybe even as big as I can possibly be, without the drugs. There's a certain pride in being natural. Even more so if I can get to compete while staying that way.
My idol right now is Rob Riches. I would kill someone to look like him!
Rob:

So.. yep. That's it for today I guess. Been thinking about all this stuff a lot lately.
Mainly because the last girl I happened to fall in love with, disapproved of muscles, and that made me think.. maybe I was on the wrong track with all this training and the striving to be perfect.
I've come to realize.. I'm always gonna be like that. I just love the training too much to let it go for anyone. And it's always going to be there to save the day, no matter what happens.

I feel weird when linking pictures that haven't been taken by me, so this time I'll show you two pics, just to even the balance. First one is the usual random object, and the last one is of me.

When the ordinary is.. extraordinary

I always feel like I have to write about something extraordinary.
Stuff that might get people to think, laugh, or be entertained in some way.

It's the least I can do, now that you've bothered to click on a link to my blog.
But.. then I thought.. I actually don't have to entertain you in any way. It'll be nice if that's the case, but I'm writing all this for my own sake, not for others.
I'm doing this because I'm truly fond of writing, and as I've said in an earlier post, it's a way for me to evaluate my life, and the thoughts in my crazy nuggin'. And also, I love to share pictures :P

I often find that, while I'm writing, I almost always end up spinning off on a random subject that I didn't even plan on writing about.
But I guess that's how my mind works.

Normally I sit down with the intention of telling you something very important to me, or something that may enlighten you + test my own research and knowledge skills.
Like, I've been wanting to write about DOMS (Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness), which basically is muscle soreness post-training, for quite a while now.
I've done some required research, and I have sat down several times, trying to get motivated.
But it just doesn't happen. And that's absurd! I love every aspect of training, and it's been a huge part of my life the last couple years. That should be enough motivation to at least get some words into the blog about it.
So now that I've mentioned my intention of writing a DOMS-related post, it might be cleared from my system. Hopefully :P

This time, I made the headline of the post first, and starting writing afterwards. And I had no clue where this would go.
That's just the way it works best for me.

And there you have it. It went from nothing to something. Interesting? Perhaps. At least I didn't talk about the weather!

Got work tomorrow, so I'm gonna hit the sack quite early tonight. That'll be about now actually.
Oh, picture time! Almost forgot :P

Here you go: An picture of an item some people might find ordinary. Rope!

Sun

It's like this:
When the sun shines, everything becomes a little bit better.
A smile is more joyful, food is tastier and trees and flowers look bloomy and wonderful.
Nature smiles when it's bathed in sunshine.

There's no better way of treating a blue mood, than to sit in the sun, taking deep breaths and just experience everything around you.
It's almost like a chemical reaction happens, targeting all the bad stuff inside you, and then killing it by blasting you full of happyjuice. :P

Useless blog-post is useless, but I don't care.
THE SUN IS SHINING!

Staying healthy!

So. I ran today. This morning actually. For the second time this year.
And it was WONDERFUL!
Seeing the nearby lake crystallized in the frosty weather, along with the gloomy red morning sky reflected in the ice, was an amazing sight to say the least.
Me, on the other hand, not so much... :P

When it's THAT cold, it's kinda hard to push your limits, and go the extra mile (running pun extremely intended).
Had trouble breathing a couple times, and pain in my stomach. Oh the joy of staying fit and healthy.
Now, it actually sounds like I dislike cardio. And I guess that's true, in the sense that it can get tedious at times. But I try my best to change things up every once in a while. Go up a different hill, down again, and back up. Jumping over stuff, running fast until I want to puke etc.

I find that noticing the pretty scenery, trying to make every run an experience, makes it a lot easier to get it done.
And even though I'm not exactly giving all I've got every run, at least I can sit down at home, knowing I did something good for myself. The emphasis here, is the word something.

Not having burned off my morning caffeine intake, I hit the gym for a couple hours.
Wound up having a long conversation with an adorable lady (hence the couple hours, if you were wondering), that obviously had the inside scoop on the treatment of an inflamed tibia (shinbone). Not that I need any treatment. *cough*

Yesterdays run + 5x5 squat sets had completed obliterated my quads and glutes, so I made sure to do some lightweight squats and bodyweight-lunges. Just enough to get a decent bloodflow, so some much needed nutrition could have it's way with the muscles, and start repairing me properly.

Wow. The first post that actually only involved me talking about my day!
You must be SO bored.

Oh well, at least there's a picture :P
Enjoy.

He's got a dog.

And he's such a cutie :P
Quite the model too, which is why I want to stray away from the reflective life-related posts, and actually write about something I truly enjoy. My dog. And photography!
I was in the mood to take some photos, and I promised myself, that the next time it wouldn't be leaves and trees, but something a little more personal.
So here you have it; three photos of my cheerful little darling named Samson.
Enjoy.

Being sad

I've been feeling empty lately.
Like nothing matters.
Cold, dark and weakened to the bone.
Sometimes I find myself spiralling into a circle of depressing thoughts, just to feel something, anything.

It's just.. you know the feeling you get when you're truly in love with someone? Like, when you can't ever seem to catch your breath, your stomach aches, and you find it really easy to get extremely emotional over nothing.
At one point, you're jumping around singing like Mary Poppins, and a few minutes later you're feeling like a plane crash.

I don't really know where I'm going with this, but I find it easier to deal with my emotions when they're written down.

I had an assignment a while ago, where I had to write about the biggest thing in my life. It was kinda hard to point out one specific moment, so I decided to write about my childhood and teenage years.
Of course I wouldn't be the first individual to whine about parents screwing me up; I we all have some sort of baggage with us.
Lets just say it wasn't a dance on a colourful rainbow. Quite the opposite actually.
I won't go any deeper into this, because the point is: I had no trouble at all when writing it all down, and did it rather quickly and with ease.
But when it came to reading it out loud in class, in front of 20 or so classmates, I had a total breakdown and cried all the way through. I'm surprised they could even hear the words coming out of my mouth, as I sobbed my way through the text, almost choking on every word.

I guess I first realised what I had gone through, when it was in front of me.
Never really dealt with it in any way, and I hadn't talked about it with anyone before.
The feeling after reading it was fantastic though. Best thing I ever did.
Felt like removing a 30kg backpack after a long walk. And I haven't worn it since then :P

Writing is a drug for me. I use it to let go of emotions, and to clear my mind by putting my thoughts on paper, and it really helps.

Aaaaaand picture time:

The wonders of indie

I can't even remember how I got to know this girl, but I'm so glad I did.
Someone who can describe the emotions involved when a heart breaks, with such truth and simplicity shouldn't go unnoticed. So here I am, blogging about this wonderful lady, who's helped me through some hard times of my still fairly inexperienced life.

I'm talking about Rosi Golan:

Rosi Golan

Singer/song writer, born in Israel - oh snap!
Now I remember!
I heard her on an episode of Grey's Anatomy.
There we go, haha, now I can continue writing without my noggin' searching for the answer.

Her style is completely unique.
It's an undoubtedly dark, deep and longing mood she creates with her tunes.
It's mostly about love, and the troubles it can bring when it fades.
It's not really music that'll help you through heartache, but if you find yourself having difficulty feeling and showing the emotions needed to truly grieve, she can easily get you in the correct mood.
"Yesteryear" off her first record "The Drifter and the Gypsy" is one of saddest yet most beautiful songs about love I've ever had the pleasure of listening to. I remember the song affecting me for almost a week when I first heard it.
The lyrics feel like a sledgehammer to the heart, and doesn't do anything to cover up how it feels to really miss a person. Here's a short section of it:

"If this is what we get, then lets make the most of it
We can dance around the clouds up here
And we’ll be what might have been, close our eyes and just pretend
That we are back again in Yesteryear.."

I'm speechless. Can't even read this stuff without squeezing out a tiny drop of emotion-fluid.
What I really want to say is; look her up. She's a fantastic person that deserves more of what has already come to her. She's got two albums out, and I can recommend them both. The first one focusing more on the acoustic guitar, while her newest album does a bit more in terms of exploring different instruments and sounds.

And the usual picture: