Movin' cement with no supplement.

Forgot my caffeine pill today, so I was completely wasted while warming up.
Also forgot the tribulus, so I was all happy and relaxed instead of angry and mean.

Yet I still managed to get through my chest workout with improvements. Me gusta!

Today is Friday, so it's time to get on the weight and see what's what.
76.1kg on a completely empty stomach. Which means I've put on about 3kg's since I started bulking.
I'm happy with the results so far.


Workout

 

Benchpress (55kg):

1-6 sets: 10 reps

7 set: 9

8 set: 7

9 set: 7

10 set: 6

My chest was really pumped after the 10x10, so I went ahead and did some:

 

Standing Cable Flyes (20kg)

3 sets / 15 reps

 

Standing Incline Cable Flyes (10kg)

3 sets / 10 reps

 

Tricep Pushdown (20/30/40kg)

 Did 4-5 sets increasing the weight with 1, 2, and 3rd set, and decreasing it with the 4th and 5th set.

 

After this my chest was about to explode, thus considered a really good workout.

Strength gains + good pump = win.

Also did some rubber-band exercises for the rotator-cuff and my shoulders.

 

Tomorrow is all about resting. I'm in the head-start for Guild Wars 2, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to spend the whole day inside Tyria.

 

Until next time. 

My legs be hurtin'!

Still got awful DOMS from Wednesday's leg torture. Don't know if I ever want to do that again :P
I'm just kidding. Of course I will!

Yesterday was back and bi's, and I continued using the 10x10 technique.
It promotes a shorter, though much more intense workout, and it's brutal.
Actually I was still rather sore from Monday's back routing, but I thought 3 days rest should be more than enough. So I went ahead and did the same as last back-session.

Workout

Pullups (Bodyweight):

1-7 sets: 10 reps

8 set: 9

9 set: 8

10 set: 7

Bent-over row (70kg):

10 sets of 10 reps!

Ez-bar Curls (32kg)

Did 3 sets of as many as possible, leaning my body slightly forward and resting the bar on my quads every rep, making sure I went all the way up to a full contraction.

Finished with some dumbbell curls with some girly 6kg's, just to make sure they where totally trashed.

I'm going to be playing around with fonts and paragraphs for a while, until I've decided how I want the log to look like.

I'm praying for my legs being able to carry me to the gym later today.

It's chest and tri's, maybe with a couple shoulder exercises.

Until next time! /wave

It hurts!

So yesterday was legs.
I recently started using a program called German Volume Training, which involves picking one exercise per muscle group, preferably a multi-joint one, and the blasting out 10 sets of 10 reps with a 1min rest interval.
By using about 60% of your max RM, the first few sets will feel like a breeze.
And then you hit the wall at set 5-6. It's like your muscles are totally cramping out, you're gasping for your breath like you just finished a sprint, and the 1min pause seems to get shorter and shorter.
It's hell. And I love it.

Oh well, here's some data from yesterday. Promised myself to make this a log, didn't I? :P
Did 1 set of leg and ham curls to warm up.

Workout

Squat: 

10x10 - 100kg (Did all sets with good / acceptable form)

Legpress: 

5x10 - 240kg (After the crazy amount of squats, my legpress went down a lot)

Sumo kettlebell deadlift:

3x10 - 32kg (Just to finish glutes and hams off)

And that was it. Doesn't look like much on paper, but I promise you, I have DOMS like never before in my legs, as of writing.
Since I got all sets of 10 on the squat, I need to ramp things up for next time.
Either 105kg or 110kg.

Today is back. It's been resting since monday, and I still don't feel up to the task.
I'll give it a try though. After a good warm up, it should be doable.
10x10 pullups, here I come xD

And it's back! Yet somehow different.

I've been fighting back and forth in my head, trying to think of what I would like to do with this blog.
And this very morning, while heading home from my girlfriends house, I decided to make this a training log.
Yes, I know it must sound extremely boring, and I assure you, it's going to be just that.
Unless I have something else to say of course.

I read somewhere, that athletes who log everything regarding their training, gets ahead of those who don't.
So from today I would like to start keeping track of my progress.
Some days it'll be something like:
GVT - 10x10 - benchpress 50kg's
Sets / reps
1  / 10
2  / 10
3  / 10
4  / 10
5  / 10
6  / 10
7  / 10
8  / 10
9  / 10
10/  8

And all this is to ensure that I'm getting stronger, making progress and getting bigger.
I'm also going to be taking measurements of body parts approximately once a week, and weigh myself.
Might also make notes of what I eat and when.
So from now on it's all about my training regimen. And it will start tonight.

It's been lovely to share my thoughts and ideas with you, and I hope you enjoyed reading the, at times, mumbling rubbish these pages have brought you :P

A quick update!

I realize I haven't been writing in a while now, and despite what you readers might think, it's actually a good thing.
You see, I use the blog to spill my guts, deal with problems or just think.
If I'm not writing much, it means I'm in a good place. Balanced, happy and content.
Been quite some time since I could honestly say those words, without feeling hands grabbing my neck and squeezing.

Also I'm training like crazy (as always) + I'm following a somewhat strict diet. I always wondered why I couldn't develop that 6-pack I always wanted and now it seems like I've found the solution.
Eat clean, focus on high amounts of protein and low amounts of carbs, train like an animal and do low to medium intensity cardio. (like walking)

I've been doing the diet, training every day + walking 4-5 times a week, and it definitely shows.
In the correct lighting I can actually see 6 abdominal-splits + 2 very small ones at the bottom.
If I keep this up I'll have an 8-pack soon :P

Being on a diet is tough though. I'm weighing all of my food, putting them into a sheet and keeping an eye on calorie-intake for each day.
If you see me eating candy, you can be damn sure it's well planned!

I've been thinking about the future the last couple weeks. Where do I want myself to be in 10 years?
There was a time when "being happy" was enough, but I figure I should use the dedication regarding my training and health, and put it to use. Mostly by helping others, and promoting myself in the process. I might start out by creating a website where you can ask me questions about fitness and food. I'll be sure to let you know when it's up and running.

Haven't been taking photos lately, so I've been diggin' in the archives for this one.
Hope you still enjoy reading my blog. I sure enjoy writing :P
/wave

Mirror mirror on the wall!

At times I find myself looking in the mirror. Like I would figure most people do.
When brushing teeth, while washing hands, shaving, putting wax in my hair.

But sometimes, I like to just look. And then some questions come to mind.
How do I look in certain situations?
Is the one I see, any different from the one others see? Do I make any weird faces while talking?
Does it show when I'm looking at someone I'm attracted to, or in love with?

So, when I ask myself these questions, I try to make these expressions appear!
And I've got the answer, I think.

Yes, of course I look different to others, than the one I see in the mirror.
I'm pretty sure that I make weird twists and googly eyes while talking. My smile might be different too.
But the thing I'm the most sure of, is that I'm prettier when looking at someone I could fall in love with.

I imagine myself looking at the most amazing girl. Now, I actually don't have a recipe for the way this girl looks or even behaves. Still, I remember the feeling of being in love well enough to fake it in front of the mirror.
It's like everything falls into place in my face. The smile is more natural. Eyes gloom like they've been photo-shopped. I don't think about acting any different, but it still shows.
The one thing I know for sure, is that when I'm in love, I just.. look better.
And I believe everyone does.

So go out and fall in love! (A dance of love)

If not, then at least love this picture.

It's my birthday!

I always get this feeling around my birthday, that I should sit back and reminisce about the past year.
Usually I don't do it though. But this time SO much has happened, and I actually feel it would be a good idea to try and remember it all.

About a year ago, I had just moved to a sports-school on the other side of the country, and started my education as a fitness-instructor. I was nervous about meeting new people (about 70-80 new people, to be precise), and I was wondering whether I would fit in. What I didn't realise by that time, was that the next year would be the best in my life, thus far.

The relationships I gained.
The inspiring teachers.
The intense and extreme training.
And lastly the improvements regarding my attitude towards life.

I've really learned to look at the bright side, and take things more lightly.
But it's not like I've changed much.
I'd rather say that the "real me" has stepped into the spotlight.
The wall consisting of shyness and insecurity, that I have been hiding behind, has been brought down, and I've learned to accept who I am. Instead of thinking of what I should have done, I've moved on to actually doing things.

I've also learned to accept the fact that, if people dislike me for some reason, it's okay!
Of course it's nice to be liked by everyone, but that's just not how the world works.
If we all liked each other, and shared the same opinion about everything, life would be boring.
I actually like to disagree. Out of contrasts and difference of opinion, debates rise, and through arguments we expand our way of thinking, and evolve as individuals.
We can really learn a lot from the people we spend time with, especially if they're not all giving you a pad on the shoulder every time you're together.

It's always nice to meet someone, who not only have completely different interests, but also have a whole other way of looking at life, and what's important.
The workaholic and the slacker could learn countless of things from each other, I believe.
Maybe the slacker could get more things done by using the workaholic as a motivational poster, and maybe the stressful Mr. I'm-at-work-24/7 could learn to take some time to relax and enjoy himself.

The perfect balance is, of course, what we all should be searching for. But we strive through different kinds of motivation.
For some it's money. What they do for a living might not matter as much, as long as their free time is filled with materialistic objects such as expensive cars and a modernistic home.
For others, the work has to be filled with passion and things they love doing, so the work feels more like free time, than actual work. Again, I'm looking at a thing in-between those two.
With me, if I'm not passionate enough with what I do, I just can't do it. The days before my first spinning-lesson as an instructor were amazing. I was extremely nervous, and I spend hours preparing. I actually sat down for 4-5 straight hours at one point, and just kept on pushing.
That's when I feel most alive. When I'm not sure if I'll make it, or break it.
And to be honest, if you're not taking a chance, well, what are you doing?

I'm getting off topic though. So on we go!

At the sports-school, I became more functional socially. Chit-chat has never been my thing, but it's important to be able to communicate, and if you're too shy to say anything, you'll always be left behind, I found.
Striking up a conversation with a total stranger has never been my thing, but now I find myself doing it all the time. Which is good, I think. Well, I don't know really. Ask the strangers :P
It feels good though. Not to be afraid to stand out and say what's on your mind. It's also quite giving sometimes. You'll find that even the strangest of strangers can have the brilliant combination of words you need, to put whatever is on your mind at ease.

The confidence I gained from my relations and extra responsibility I had at the school, gave me the proper push to go out and get a job. Now I've been working for a couple months, and I have had so many positive experiences. I just love what I do. And it shows, I've been told.

And then came love. It's kicked me in the nuts before, and it surely will again at some point.
I've always been chosen, and never really been the one to choose. Except for the last time I was in love. That was the first time I actually tried to take action myself, and it paid off.
What I've gained from that, is the knowledge that I can be the one to choose.
And that is just.. so new to me. It's like a new world has opened. Really scary actually.

So.. instead of fearing what's to come, I'm looking to whatever the universe has planned for me.
And that's the first time I've felt this way in many years.
And as I said. Best. Year. Ever.

Damn, that's about the longest post on the blog thus far. Hope you made it to here, because now you get to enjoy the picture!

Something brilliant!

Whenever I sit down and enter my blog-mode, it always starts out the same way.
I feel like this next post, should be the one where I write something brilliant. Something remarkable.
Words where people will go; "Wow, that really got me thinking"

Then I realise I'll never make a post that's 100% awesome, but some few good sentences might come out once in a while. And that's actually good enough for me.
I rarely remember what I've been thinking about throughout the day, so whenever I write something here, I can promise you it's been circling my mind for a while.

As of right now though, I can't think of anything exciting to tell.
Oh wait! There is something!
Today, I was asked by my boss to fill in as a spinning-instructor this friday. I'm very excited and to be honest, a little bit scared.
It's my first attempt at leading a spinning class, so I need to figure out a few things beforehand.
Gotta find some kickass music for the class, and I need to stitch a decent program together with some single-beat threading and some crazy "kill-your-legs" rush.

Would be nice if it could become a regular thing. I'm not exactly a sucker for cardio, so getting paid to shed some fat would be great. My diet hasn't been what I want it to be, mainly because I've been battling diseases on and off for a couple weeks. Sore throat, runny nose and exhaustion just from getting out of bed are all good signs that I should take some time off.

It's tough though. The training is not just my daily fix of endorphins. It's where I leave my problems in the locker room, and go beat up the weights. It takes a lot of stress out of my day. Not that there is any, as of writing.
Not really working all that much, and my social life is not exactly wild. I like my life as it is right now. Some more hours as an instructor and it's perfect.

“Our health and happiness should always come first; because when our cups are overflowing we have more good stuff to offer others.”—Jess Ainscough

Damn. I have to resort to quotes to have some decent thoughts in my post! Shame on me!
True story though. For real. :P

 As always, a picture. Taken a couple days ago, in my garden. It's.. flowers!

If you live to love, you might love to live.

My favourite quotation of all time.
Taken from the song "Maybe If" by Nicholas Barron, a blues-inspired singer/songwriter.
Imagine if Tom Jones and Vince Vaughn fathered the same child. Nicholas would be the result.
If you want to delve into his music (you should), then be sure to check out these two songs.
Nicholas Barron – Ramon
Nicholas Barron – Saviour
But back on topic!

Every day is about love, in some way. A joyful little smile when remembering past love, or thinking of future ones, all because the right song is playing on the radio.
When sitting next to another person can make you feel like being on a roller-coaster. When you walk around smiling to strangers, because you're overflowing with happiness.
When a kiss takes you to the sky and back in a few seconds.
When merely touching each other makes you all shaky and light-headed.

Love is all around us.
Between good friends. In relationships. Even when hugging the dog, it's love.
Love is what makes me have faith in life.
Because when it's there, and when it's good, it's all I ever want from this world.

I got a job. Fear me.

As I may have mentioned last time I wrote, I just got a job as a fitness instructor.
And it's all kinds of win. I love it so much :P

I had 2 people sign up for the gym, plus made an appointment with another dude who's going to sign tomorrow AND talked another guy into taking a free one-hour freebie in the gym sometime next week.
Seriously. Didn't threaten them with guns or anything, like I know I'm supposed to.

Had a moment too.
I was standing behind the counter, overlooking all my minions doing their daily punishment routine.
They have to. Else I make them stay until they do. They come to me all sweaty and exhausted, beggin' for their keys so they can go home, and all I say is; TEN MORE MINUTES MAGGOT!
Because that's who I am. The master. Guardian of the holy protein-grail.
Doomlord in the hellish land known as.. the gym.

And in the midst of all the evil-eye staring and threats of hour-long Vonda Shepard listening, I noticed something in the mirror opposite of the counter. Me.
But, something odd was going on. I was trying to be all mean-like, with a come-at-me-bro attitude, and a murderous intent carved into my eyes. But it didn't help.
All I saw was this dude in shorts and a tanktop. And he was smiling!

Then I looked around at, you know, the minions, and to my surprise they were smiling too!

Oh well, I thought, and went out the back to release the guy who came to me a couple days ago, claiming protein wasn't important, and muscle wasn't all they're pumped up to be (nice pun, huh?).
Had him do 500 reps of every exercise I know, and had fed him full of chicken every other hour since he first complained. Guess it was time to let him go, now that I was smiling. No point in holding a grudge I guess.

What I'm saying is.. I fall in love with what I do over and over again. Every pound lost, every sweat-soaked t-shirt burning off my nose-hair, and every smile I receive when I hand the poor minions their keys back. Ahh.. I enjoy it so much.

Until next time.

Oh snap, wild picture appears!

Woops!

Hey there!

I've been neglecting my blog for quite a while now. Not on purpose, not because I didn't feel like writing.
I actually don't know why. But who cares anyway? The blog is for my own personal gains. *grin*
Nah, I've received a bunch of compliments both in regard to the pictures shown, and of course the amazingly brilliant and sophisticated writing-skills I'm in possession of. *cough*

So..
In Flames.
These guys:

Mind 'effin blowing band, much. I absolutely love them.
It's one of my favourite genres; Melodic Death Metal, but more on the melodic side, and with less growling.
The dry crispy voice of Anders Fridén mixed with the awesome mix of beauty and brutality that is Björn Gelotte's guitar-riffs/solos is downright unbeatable in it's genre.




Since the blog is about me and what I do, this band was the first thing that came to my mind when I thought about writing. I have practically been listening to them 24/7 the last 2 months, if not longer.

Oh, btw. I'm officially a fitness instructor now! Just recently aquired a job at a local gym, with the boss hiring me based purely on my application and a couple conversations (because I haven't had any previous jobs in the business). I'm so grateful for that, since it's kinda hard to get any job without previous experience to show for yourself.
So if you ever find yourself in need of a super-hot and tough coach, you can check in @ NMI in Ishøj and ask for Hevia :P (Kidding obviously, I'm not that tough)

Picsey time! Let me see.. Uh, I'm in the picture! :>

Training my ass off!

I've been bodybuilding for about 2.5 years now, and my progess has been great.
The training almost never lets me down.
It's there when I'm angry.
When I'm frustrated.
When I'm happy.
It's even there when I'm heartbroken.

The improvements are not all physical.
I know I've been scratching the surface of using strength-training in other aspects of life, in an earlier post, and I kinda want to try getting deeper into that specific thought. I'm not saying I'm gonna go there now, but lets sit back and see where my mind wanders off to while writing.

It's a lifestyle. Everything I do and have done for the last couple years, has either been evolved around or been associated in some way, with my training.
The stuff I eat, my sleeping patterns, the way I react to certain events, and even the way I look at other people and how they live their life.
I'm not gonna say that every person should strive to look their best, but actually.. I guess that's what I think. At least at the time of writing this.
And I don't want it to be that way. I don't want to shake my head in disgust every time I see someone doing something unhealthy. Eating a bag of cheetos once in a while should be allowed, right?

In some odd way, I've somehow been manipulated into thinking that looking good, goes hand in hand with a successful life. But if that's the truth, then 90% percent of the human population should be leading a crappy life, feeling inadequate and unworthy of happiness.
And rational thinking has lead me to believe that's not the case.

Maybe I should just accept the fact that, wanting to look my very best, is just who I am.
I just need to find someone who believes that, what I think is "my best", is actually quite awesome.

I've been working my ass off in the local gym for quite a while now, and been through changes that can only be seen in those fake adds with before / after pictures.
Yes, they're fake, in case you didn't know. And there's no "secret to 6-pack abs". What a shocker :P
But seriously.. if getting to look like a fitness-model only took 4 weeks and a short motivational speech, then everyone would go through the four weeks of madness, and be done with it.

But that's not the case, and the problem when working with yourself, is this; you're never going to be satisfied. Not ever. And if you feel satisfied, you're lying to yourself. Whether it's physical or mental change, there's always something that can be improved.

The day I'm satisfied with myself is the d.. I can't finish that sentence.
And if I could, I would go do it this instant, so I could sit back and start enjoying life.
God I'm rambling.

What I'm trying to say, or rather, what I'm trying not to say, is that..
I don't know what I would want to look like.
When I started out with all the protein-craziness and the wild training schedule, I wanted to look like a monster. Like this:

I wanted to be so big, that it would never go unnoticed.
Carrying around my trophy, all the time. Because the trophy would be me.

I soon came to realize that getting to be this big, would need me to make some drastic choices in life, concerning my health. To get this big, I need to inject myself with testosterone, human growth hormone, anabolic steroids and the like.
For now I've decided that's a no-go for me. I still want to be big though. Maybe even as big as I can possibly be, without the drugs. There's a certain pride in being natural. Even more so if I can get to compete while staying that way.
My idol right now is Rob Riches. I would kill someone to look like him!
Rob:

So.. yep. That's it for today I guess. Been thinking about all this stuff a lot lately.
Mainly because the last girl I happened to fall in love with, disapproved of muscles, and that made me think.. maybe I was on the wrong track with all this training and the striving to be perfect.
I've come to realize.. I'm always gonna be like that. I just love the training too much to let it go for anyone. And it's always going to be there to save the day, no matter what happens.

I feel weird when linking pictures that haven't been taken by me, so this time I'll show you two pics, just to even the balance. First one is the usual random object, and the last one is of me.

When the ordinary is.. extraordinary

I always feel like I have to write about something extraordinary.
Stuff that might get people to think, laugh, or be entertained in some way.

It's the least I can do, now that you've bothered to click on a link to my blog.
But.. then I thought.. I actually don't have to entertain you in any way. It'll be nice if that's the case, but I'm writing all this for my own sake, not for others.
I'm doing this because I'm truly fond of writing, and as I've said in an earlier post, it's a way for me to evaluate my life, and the thoughts in my crazy nuggin'. And also, I love to share pictures :P

I often find that, while I'm writing, I almost always end up spinning off on a random subject that I didn't even plan on writing about.
But I guess that's how my mind works.

Normally I sit down with the intention of telling you something very important to me, or something that may enlighten you + test my own research and knowledge skills.
Like, I've been wanting to write about DOMS (Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness), which basically is muscle soreness post-training, for quite a while now.
I've done some required research, and I have sat down several times, trying to get motivated.
But it just doesn't happen. And that's absurd! I love every aspect of training, and it's been a huge part of my life the last couple years. That should be enough motivation to at least get some words into the blog about it.
So now that I've mentioned my intention of writing a DOMS-related post, it might be cleared from my system. Hopefully :P

This time, I made the headline of the post first, and starting writing afterwards. And I had no clue where this would go.
That's just the way it works best for me.

And there you have it. It went from nothing to something. Interesting? Perhaps. At least I didn't talk about the weather!

Got work tomorrow, so I'm gonna hit the sack quite early tonight. That'll be about now actually.
Oh, picture time! Almost forgot :P

Here you go: An picture of an item some people might find ordinary. Rope!

Sun

It's like this:
When the sun shines, everything becomes a little bit better.
A smile is more joyful, food is tastier and trees and flowers look bloomy and wonderful.
Nature smiles when it's bathed in sunshine.

There's no better way of treating a blue mood, than to sit in the sun, taking deep breaths and just experience everything around you.
It's almost like a chemical reaction happens, targeting all the bad stuff inside you, and then killing it by blasting you full of happyjuice. :P

Useless blog-post is useless, but I don't care.
THE SUN IS SHINING!

Staying healthy!

So. I ran today. This morning actually. For the second time this year.
And it was WONDERFUL!
Seeing the nearby lake crystallized in the frosty weather, along with the gloomy red morning sky reflected in the ice, was an amazing sight to say the least.
Me, on the other hand, not so much... :P

When it's THAT cold, it's kinda hard to push your limits, and go the extra mile (running pun extremely intended).
Had trouble breathing a couple times, and pain in my stomach. Oh the joy of staying fit and healthy.
Now, it actually sounds like I dislike cardio. And I guess that's true, in the sense that it can get tedious at times. But I try my best to change things up every once in a while. Go up a different hill, down again, and back up. Jumping over stuff, running fast until I want to puke etc.

I find that noticing the pretty scenery, trying to make every run an experience, makes it a lot easier to get it done.
And even though I'm not exactly giving all I've got every run, at least I can sit down at home, knowing I did something good for myself. The emphasis here, is the word something.

Not having burned off my morning caffeine intake, I hit the gym for a couple hours.
Wound up having a long conversation with an adorable lady (hence the couple hours, if you were wondering), that obviously had the inside scoop on the treatment of an inflamed tibia (shinbone). Not that I need any treatment. *cough*

Yesterdays run + 5x5 squat sets had completed obliterated my quads and glutes, so I made sure to do some lightweight squats and bodyweight-lunges. Just enough to get a decent bloodflow, so some much needed nutrition could have it's way with the muscles, and start repairing me properly.

Wow. The first post that actually only involved me talking about my day!
You must be SO bored.

Oh well, at least there's a picture :P
Enjoy.

He's got a dog.

And he's such a cutie :P
Quite the model too, which is why I want to stray away from the reflective life-related posts, and actually write about something I truly enjoy. My dog. And photography!
I was in the mood to take some photos, and I promised myself, that the next time it wouldn't be leaves and trees, but something a little more personal.
So here you have it; three photos of my cheerful little darling named Samson.
Enjoy.

Being sad

I've been feeling empty lately.
Like nothing matters.
Cold, dark and weakened to the bone.
Sometimes I find myself spiralling into a circle of depressing thoughts, just to feel something, anything.

It's just.. you know the feeling you get when you're truly in love with someone? Like, when you can't ever seem to catch your breath, your stomach aches, and you find it really easy to get extremely emotional over nothing.
At one point, you're jumping around singing like Mary Poppins, and a few minutes later you're feeling like a plane crash.

I don't really know where I'm going with this, but I find it easier to deal with my emotions when they're written down.

I had an assignment a while ago, where I had to write about the biggest thing in my life. It was kinda hard to point out one specific moment, so I decided to write about my childhood and teenage years.
Of course I wouldn't be the first individual to whine about parents screwing me up; I we all have some sort of baggage with us.
Lets just say it wasn't a dance on a colourful rainbow. Quite the opposite actually.
I won't go any deeper into this, because the point is: I had no trouble at all when writing it all down, and did it rather quickly and with ease.
But when it came to reading it out loud in class, in front of 20 or so classmates, I had a total breakdown and cried all the way through. I'm surprised they could even hear the words coming out of my mouth, as I sobbed my way through the text, almost choking on every word.

I guess I first realised what I had gone through, when it was in front of me.
Never really dealt with it in any way, and I hadn't talked about it with anyone before.
The feeling after reading it was fantastic though. Best thing I ever did.
Felt like removing a 30kg backpack after a long walk. And I haven't worn it since then :P

Writing is a drug for me. I use it to let go of emotions, and to clear my mind by putting my thoughts on paper, and it really helps.

Aaaaaand picture time:

The wonders of indie

I can't even remember how I got to know this girl, but I'm so glad I did.
Someone who can describe the emotions involved when a heart breaks, with such truth and simplicity shouldn't go unnoticed. So here I am, blogging about this wonderful lady, who's helped me through some hard times of my still fairly inexperienced life.

I'm talking about Rosi Golan:

Rosi Golan

Singer/song writer, born in Israel - oh snap!
Now I remember!
I heard her on an episode of Grey's Anatomy.
There we go, haha, now I can continue writing without my noggin' searching for the answer.

Her style is completely unique.
It's an undoubtedly dark, deep and longing mood she creates with her tunes.
It's mostly about love, and the troubles it can bring when it fades.
It's not really music that'll help you through heartache, but if you find yourself having difficulty feeling and showing the emotions needed to truly grieve, she can easily get you in the correct mood.
"Yesteryear" off her first record "The Drifter and the Gypsy" is one of saddest yet most beautiful songs about love I've ever had the pleasure of listening to. I remember the song affecting me for almost a week when I first heard it.
The lyrics feel like a sledgehammer to the heart, and doesn't do anything to cover up how it feels to really miss a person. Here's a short section of it:

"If this is what we get, then lets make the most of it
We can dance around the clouds up here
And we’ll be what might have been, close our eyes and just pretend
That we are back again in Yesteryear.."

I'm speechless. Can't even read this stuff without squeezing out a tiny drop of emotion-fluid.
What I really want to say is; look her up. She's a fantastic person that deserves more of what has already come to her. She's got two albums out, and I can recommend them both. The first one focusing more on the acoustic guitar, while her newest album does a bit more in terms of exploring different instruments and sounds.

And the usual picture:

So i heard you like fitness..?

Yup, that's what my life's been about for the past couple years. And I absolutely love it.
There's something completely astounding about pushing the limits of your own body, watching yourself grow towards a goal, putting in the work, and finally achieving that specific goal.

It's not only useful as a confidence "pat on the shoulder-ish" booster. The whole process with goal-creation and the path to accomplishment can be used in many other aspects of life.
Realising that nothing comes without proper effort, is a lesson everyone needs to learn at some point.
Strength training is a very good way to slowly ease into that way of thinking.

And here's a random photo as a thank you for the attention, taken by yours' truly.

Hello!

Omg - I started a blog!

Actually I've been thinking about this for a while, and now I find myself inspired enough to give it a try.
Lets see what this becomes.
I guess I should introduce myself.

Hi there! I'm Hevia.
A 21 year old nerdy, poetic fitness-metalhead. Yup, I'm unique i guess, but aren't we all?
Recently finished a 10 month course to become a fitnessinstructor at a school in Denmark.

I love strength-training, both as a stressreleaser and confidencebuilder.
Actually I got into working out, because I thought it would help me gain some selfconfidence.

2.5 years later, I've realized that looking great and feeling great is very far from the same.

The training has grown on me though, I guess you could call me an addict by now. Not exactly the worst addiction in the world :P
Sure, I've gained some pounds of muscle in the process, and now I'm very comfortable with how I look.
I guess the attention you get by having a nice looking body is coolio, but confidence in your own being comes from the inside - it's psychological. While having a firm body is purely physical.
That's my opinion, and I'm only saying this because I've been through that "WILD TRANSFORMATION", and to be honest, it's not as big of a life-improvement as one would hope.

Enough about the fitness-stuff!

I did write I was nerdy earlier. I LOVE games! Computer games that is; especially online ones.
Being good at games is an awesome way to get some positive achievements, even though it's all useless in the real world.
There's a great feeling that follows after bashing some little douchbag teenage whinerheads face in, in a game, that usually ends up with him calling me a cheater of some sorts.
It's cruel (muahaha), and I love it :P
Cooperative games are my favorites by far. Working as a team, each bringing a different skillset to complete a certain task is a beautiful thing.

Photography is another interest of mine, and I recently started using Gimp to work on my photos, before showing them to the public. I've been told I'm good at finding objects that others wouldn't think of. Raindrops on a piece of metal or a window, a broken and bended garbage bin etc.

On to the last part of my very first blog-post!

I got a thing for music. Who doesn't? Everyone should be able to experience the beauty of lyrics and melody merging together in a goosebump-creating fashion. I wouldn't be able to exist without music in my life.
All the way from mellow indie-pop, to ravaging melodic death metal. There're very few genres i dislike.
On the top of my head, fusion jazz and regular radio-noise ain't my thing. Oh yeah, and most country and slchager just doesn't do it for me.

Oh my, oh my. I'm so glad you came this far :P
After all, it's just me here. Not really sure how interesting it's going to be.
Maybe I should tell you why the blog is called FYI. As you may know, FYI is an abbrevation for "For your information". This blog is going to be me, sharing my thoughts on what I find interesting in this world. The plan was to start a news-page with tech/music/fitness news and articles.
It might just turn out to be that. Lets see where it goes.

I'm gonna search my archives, and pick one of my favorite photos to post.

Until next time!

Hevia